Back from statewide

I was out of town for two days at a work conference in Tulsa OK and I had so much fun.  I did not feel well for most of it because when I get upset or stressed I don't eat and the stress with him and I has triggered my anxiety to explode.  I am currently 130lbs which is 10 lbs less than 1 month ago.  I am happy though to have lost weight as I think I was a bit too big but my stomach has been off...well then I go and party last night with my sup and fellow licensing staff and God only knows the amount of alcohol I ingested because I lost count drank coconut rum and pineapple juice had several glasses of that and then my sup and coworker brought wine...we finished it.  Holy hell was all I could think as I have not done this sort of thing for about 8 years and it showed but it was fun.  Today though was not...hung over in a huge way and stomach upset because of he and I. 
The conference came at the best time when I again start to doubt what I am doing is the right thing I ride up to Tulsa with my coworker who had been married to an abusive man when she was younger.  She let me vent all the way up there and all the way back today.  I explained why I wanted the divorce, how I would get back together with him at a later date once we both became the people we are suppose to be.  I explained my reasoning and she got it...she understood where I was coming from, she thought that he is unable to see the larger picture because he is just not mature enough and he only sees what he wants but misses the whole point of it...That was what I needed to hear, I needed someone other than my family to understand truly what I was trying to achieve.  After speaking with her and venting she gave me good advice.  She asked me if I ever have done anything truly selfish where I did not care about the outcome, where all I thought about was me and did not consider how things would affect others...I mentioned the tattoos and she said no have you ever done a truly selfish act where it would negatively impact others because the tattoos does not affect him...I thought about it and realized no I have not that I could think of...I usually put others first and this putting me first is very foreign so it feels like I am doing a bad thing. 
The last keynote speaker today was talking about decluttering your mind.  She gave us 5 questions to ask ourselves everyday.  what do I want? How am I going to get it?  Once I have it what will I do to keep it?  #4 I cannot remember but have it written down somewhere and then #5 if I cannot have what I want then what will be my back up want? I thought about these as she talked about how you cannot be any good to anyone else until you are good with yourself which I have always agreed with just did not apply it to my life so much.  I am getting ready to de-clutter my house as well as my mind so I can find peace and be happy with me.