Wow this writing everyday might be a bit difficult, anyways. Today was a good day, I was super tired this morning because I just could not sleep well last night, bought some Tylenol PM at lunch so maybe tonight...Today was uneventful which is always good, but it still seemed like the day dragged and that the week is dragging as well. Did not hear too much from him today and that is a good thing because it just makes this all the more difficult, I have this sneaking suspicion that he may be on his way to "seeing" someone else if he has not already...kind of a gut feeling I guess, but I kinda hope so because then it will make this all the easier because any feelings I have for him will disappear immediately...it will just make things again easier on my side. We shall see...I can see though how this being friends think may not pan out so well...maybe further down the road that can be achieved, who knows maybe it will be just fine only time will tell.
I am very lucky to have the support system that I have. People who are like minded and when I vent or talk about stuff they understand what I am saying and seem to feel the same way...I have many friends and family who will call me out on stuff if I am being dumb so I guess this validates my feelings or thoughts on issues. I have been sitting there re-evaluating things, looking back on past incidents which just reinforces that my move is the right one. It still sucks but it will for awhile and then I will be able to move forward sometime in the future. I know this realistically but still those doubts creep into my mind and cause anxiety...but it is what it is and it will play out how it is suppose to.
Anyways still want to sleep most of the time yet when it is time to sleep I cannot quiet my mind or if I wake up then I cannot get back to sleep. That makes it worse. I pray for some good sleep tonight. I pray for strength, wisdom and courage to face what I will face and be able to do it with grace (ha that rhymed!)
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